Oh, dear, maybe I am old(er) …

It’s here. The annual how-in-the-name-of-everything-I -hold-dear-did-I-get-this-old list.

It’s Beloit College’s mindset list for the class of 2011. If you haven’t heard of it, the list chronicles the people, places and events in history that the incoming freshman class may not know or understand based solely on their age. In truth, I suspect that our incoming freshman have heard of many of these things … through their history books!

I always tend to look at it as a way to remember how young the students are who are making transitions in this September be it from elementary programs to the junior high youth group or from junior high into senior high youth group.

So, here are some highlights from the list with my own special commentary …

Most of the students entering College this fall, members of the Class of 2011, were born in 1989. For them, Alvin Ailey, Andrei Sakharov, Huey Newton, Emperor Hirohito, Ted Bundy, Abbie Hoffman, and Don the Beachcomber have always been dead.
Someone enlighten me. Don the Beachcomber?

Humvees, minus the artillery, have always been available to the public.
And getting ridiculously low gas mileage is a status symbol, too ...

They never “rolled down” a car window.
Oh, if they have ridden in the soda can they have …

General Motors has always been working on an electric car.
Or, more accurately, “working on” an electric car while producing the gas hog mentioned above …

Religious leaders have always been telling politicians what to do, or else!
This is too sad to even comment on …

Russia has always had a multi-party political system.
And so, they will never fully understand this classic Sting song ….

No one has ever been able to sit down comfortably to a meal of “liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.”
Maybe I live in a cave, but … huh?

Katie Couric has always had screen cred.
Katie Couric has screen cred?

U2 has always been more than a spy plane.
Thank Bono! I mean … well … yeah …

Stadiums, rock tours and sporting events have always had corporate names.
Coming soon … Frito Lay presents Joey’s College Fund …

On Parents’ Day on campus, their folks could be mixing it up with Lisa Bonet and Lenny Kravitz with daughter Zöe, or Kathie Lee and Frank Gifford with son Cody.
Oh, please be Zoe, please . . .

They learned about JFK from Oliver Stone and Malcolm X from Spike Lee.
And we wonder why we have trouble convincing them of the truth in the Bible.

Microbreweries have always been ubiquitous.
Oh, dear freshman, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet …

Tiananmen Square is a 2008 Olympics venue, not the scene of a massacre.
Momentary serious interlude … I hope and pray that students really do know about Tiananmen Square and what happened there especially as the Olympics approach.

MTV has never featured music videos.
Internet killed the video star …

They get much more information from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert than from the newspaper.
Way to go, nation!

They never saw Johnny Carson live on television.
I never saw Johnny Carson live on television.

The World Wide Web has been an online tool since they were born.
Ah, the good old days. Black screens. White text. Yellow, if you were really rockin’ the thing …